the mails in the bin...

 

       the mails in the bin........

….. I’m sitting on the newly laid bench in the corner of the park, looking at the sunset. It’s the dark red sun going down as it lost its light. I am looking at it, as I lost purpose of my life and the sun is me. The clock is ticking, sun is setting and the darkness is perishing. Soon I realize, my mind and my surrounding are filled with darkness. Kids who are playing started leaving, the young started coming with the street and park lights were getting lit. I’m in no motion just looking at the dawn with no sun.  The young couples started looking at me, clicking the photos. I am surprised why me? But it wasn’t me but the moon just above my head, a full moon. I realized when I looked at a photo, a boy brought to me, me sitting and the moon just behind as still I posed. I paid him he smiled. I looked at his eyes. That spark in his eyes, reminded me last time I smiled.  I took my mobile to check the mails.

    They were all the old mails and some new advertisements. I opened the draft, a mail I saved to send her, but not enough brave to send or mostly the recent mails I have sent fetch me no replies, they might be in the bin. It started well with us. A common friend, we never had a great interaction but we know each other well, very well perhaps. As the time moved, things altered between us, probably my rookie mistakes. We haven’t talked for a while. The hardest time for me. We got into touch later, but things were not that good as we used to have. We know us for three years but this time it was like being with a known-stranger. My projects, career caused some differences.  Its not our mistake but its time, that caused difference. One final day I asked her and things didn’t work well. There was not much talking. We talked in mail, now and then. Simple talks. I forgot to sense it, it’s my obsession towards her or it’s my fondness. I’m looking at her. She standing, with a rabbit in her arms. She thinks its her weirdest photo, but I think it is the prettiest of all. God! That eyes, smile that innocent…

    Ufff... it’s the mosquitoes. I put my hood up. Closed my eyes. I can see her. She is intelligent, funny, disciplined an idle for someone like me. She mould me into someone I can never be. Her words are straight as an arrow piercing but are true as fire. Her care is warm, her presence is precious just as ‘the ring’ to Gollum. She always used to say, “many people come and go, there memories stay. When you don’t have them, live with the good memories”.  But the question I never asked her is, “if you can stay without them, why to remember them, what good the good memories do?”.  Yes, I agree. Some questions need no answers, some has none, we just need to leave with them. I slowly started feeling heavy. My arms are loose, my legs are hanging, my eyes are shutting, they are telling me, “I am tired”.

     My eyes were shut, it is warm rays striking my half-opened eyes. I couldn’t believe I slept the whole night in the park, leaning my back to the bench. The biggest surprise is I sent the mail. I think it too found its place is the bin just like its brothers who die in reaching her attention. The sun is rising. I can see it, beautiful to the eyes that is only having sorrow. My mobile rang, looking at the sun for a moment I told myself, “You always have a sunrise and sunset, sunset is to understand the day, sunrise is to begin a new one. The darkness in the night is to calm you down and light in the day is to show you the path to take on”. It is her on the other side. I picked the call hoping this is beginning of good morning……

By

KSVK